I will not shrink to please you, I have had enough.
Day after day I withstood your complaining
I gave into your pleading
I bargained with you unknowingly
Reducing my sanity to shred, because you,
You see yourself unworthy and see your world akin to society’s.
I will no longer shrink to accommodate that weak person that you are
No matter how I try to move you into becoming, I too get lost in my trying
To make you see that you are more.
What I see instead is that you are a dead weight burying me slowly
Taking me down a path no one should go.
Slowly and so effortlessly squeezing the life out of me
Draining me, keeping me closed in.
Yesterday I looked in the mirror and did not see a reflection of me.
I screamed so loud if I had neighbors, I knew they would come running to see.
The sound that came out was one of doom, depression, suffocation, ridicule, embarrassment, a slavish mindset
That I had to set free
In order to return to me.
So I say no more shrinking
no more hiding
no more self-defeating thought.
I set myself a flight like the birds in the sky
Carefree
Not lacking
Not wanting
but, bold, courageous, confident.
The exuberant being that I am
That I am
That I am.
Good riddance dark self
Welcome to the new me
The light of life … My true shining self.
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Read an except from Finding Her Way (A Christian Romance) – new book to be released July 2016.
Cathy entered the Lounge area and immediately saw Sean, he waved her over and she walked towards him. She saw a couple that she knew from her church and waved to them as she walked by. Sean stood up as she approached the table, he had already ordered a drink and, he motioned to a waiter after she was seated.
“What would you like to drink?” Sean asked.
She told him whatever he was drinking. The waiter arrived and he ordered a glass of water. Cathy looked up surprised but immediately realized he was just playing with her; he ordered a lemonade and asked to get the menu. Cathy liked this side of him, the fact that he could be playful it made her forget that he was so accomplished and made him more relatable.