I got married at 20 and had my first blessing of a son at 21 and by age 26 I was tired. I was tired of being responsible for anyone but myself. I was tired of catering to the needs of a husband. I was tired of having responsibilities. I was tired of working. I was tired of trying to move up the ranks career wise. I was just tired. In focusing on being tired I believe I opened myself to a lot of things; anger, depression, hurt, selfishness, frustration and the list can go on and on and on. It began a new season in my life, a season of denial, a season of stagnation, a season of “me, me, me”; not seeing beyond that – no matter what. It also pushed me into thinking that I was the only one that mattered and anything I had not done, I was going to do no matter who I would hurt in the process. I began to convince myself that what I had was not right for me. I began to convince myself that what I had was not good enough for me. Anyone know what I am talking about? That moment when you just want to put everything aside and start all over.

So I tried that, I tried putting my reality aside. I tried starting over not knowing that what I was doing was keeping myself closed up. I believe in choosing to be tired caused me more harm than good.

I believe that our choices drive us and influence everything that follows in our lives. So, if our choices drive us, why not make better choices against all odds. Against everything that appeals to us in a way we know is the easy way. I believe that’s the problem we gravitate towards the things we perceive as easier in life.

We are always running away from choosing that which will elevate us, as it may seem like a hard thing to take on, and so we shrink and we play small missing our opportunity to be great.

In her poem Marianne Williamson mentioned that:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

—Marianne Williamson

And so we shrink by choosing to not face our reality, by not choosing to be the best mom to our children, by not being the best wife, by not being the best employee or employer. When we shrink we become the weakest link.

Who wants to be the weak link? No matter how we feel I know that no one wants to be the weak link. So why not shine, break free and rise, above everything weak and be the strong one for yourself and others. Choose for yourself what you know is right and will benefit those close to you and the ones that you indirectly impact.

We are all intelligent beings who know what our ideal outcome should be, let us not shrink from the greatness we were called to be. That is doing a great injustice to us and our creator.

I now accept that my husband is the best thing that has happened to me and I have to do that intentionally. I have to see him in that light. He has to be my second go to after God. He has to be the bff of all bff’s. I have to give him that platform so that I will constantly and purposefully see him in that light. I understand and accept that he is who he is, an imperfect man so I cannot want him to be perfect. I have to stop measuring him against who and what I think he should be.

I also choose to be the best mom I can be everyday and know that it is okay to not be strong all the time. I have my inadequacies and I have accepted that as being okay because choosing to be all that I can be as the days go by, moment by moment is the best thing I can do for myself.

The problem of shrinking occurs when we project our expectation and the outcomes we would like into the future thereby making the task of being great seemingly hard to achieve.  So now I deliberately choose to live each day in greatness, it’s not that I do not think about the future but I live each day with focus and discipline ensuring that my choices are good ones that will ensure my future will be a sound one. I no longer worry about who my kids will become(for example) I instead instill the right values in them today to ensure that they make right choices to ensure they have a great future. I also let them know it’s up to them and that we each reap what we sow. I think we should view life as a team, as a chain and all of us are separate links making the chain whole. Then we will ensure that we keep in mind that the chain is as strong as its weakest link, and then we will each choose to not shrink but to be our best day by day. Every day!