It was the weekend. I woke up to the sun trying to manoeuvre its way through the small opening in the dark drapes, I turned back over in honest agony, not wanting to get up. I felt tired, more tired than I had in years. Our family was going through a challenging period that severely depleted our resources. We literally had no money for food and other necessities that weekend or for the week ahead for that matter. I looked over at Carl, my husband, sleeping, and thought how uncanny that he could look so peaceful amidst the storm we were going through. I was trying not to worry but we had 2 children outside our door waiting on us to arise and cater to their needs. I felt really tired. How did I get here? It was becoming a regular occurrence for me to think that if only I had listened to my parents I would be living a different life.  It did not occur to me that all of this was a plan orchestrated by God for His divine purpose. It did not occur to me that the family that I thought I was so willing to forego was in fact perfect for me. I was trying to be a good Christian wife, but hard as I tried I could not wrap my mind around the thought of God being our provider and “not we ourselves” as Carl would often say, encouraging me to have faith. I refused to see beyond the reality of my immediate situation and acknowledge that there was an unseen force, a greater power working to take care of us. I was suddenly jarred back to reality by the phone ringing.

I thought briefly of ignoring it but decided against that. I answered reluctantly, wondering who could be calling so early in the morning.

“Good morning Mrs. Pike” said the unfamiliar voice at the end of the line. “I am sorry to call you so early, but I wanted to before I became overwhelmed by my weekend routine.

I could identify with that, I thought.

The strange voice continued “I just wanted you to know that your deposit is now ready and Mr. Pike can come by to collect before 6 this evening.”

It was our previous landlord, Mr. Stubbs, calling about the refund of our rent deposit that we had waited on for so long. My heart raced with joy and I looked back over to Carl’s sleeping form while thanking Mr. Stubbs for his call. I now understood what Carl was always saying to me, that we were not our own providers. Immediately a quietness, a stillness I cannot describe, came over me rendering me powerless and unable to move. I heard a voice say – “I know you so well princess. I understand your fears, your concerns, your love for your family but I wished above all these things you would realize your need to trust Me and not worry so much.” Silent tears came that I could not hold back, streaming down the sides of my face. I could only whisper “Please help me to not worry.” “I will help you because I am with you always. I am with you through sickness and health, when you feel discouraged and need hope. I am with you to build your faith, but most of all I am with you so you can know your needs are always met.”

It was then I remembered the scripture verse, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

I needed no further clarity, and without hesitation I surrendered myself and said “Yes Lord, I will not worry.” I felt movement in the bed and turned to see Carl staring at me questioningly. Smiling through my tears, I simply said, “I will no longer worry because the Lord shall supply all our needs according to His riches in glory. Mr. Stubbs called and our deposit refund is ready.” Carl responded smiling “Yes, the Lord definitely will.”