She sat in the rocking chair, not hearing, but imagining that it was creaking faintly from the back and forth movement. She gazes out longingly, admiring the way the breeze rustled the leaves on the parched ground. This was a favorite pastime of hers , just looking out , having the time to admire and appreciate the beauty around her. She is lost in thought because that’s what she did mostly nowadays, her thoughts on days gone by. Her sight is fading, her hands not seeming to work for her any more. She is imagining just like it was yesterday although in reality it was a lifetime. She remembers years ago… back when I was a child she thought wistfully, I was so dependent on my mother to the point where maybe she wanted to tear her hair out because she had to wait on me hand and foot. Ensuring that my needs and desires were fulfilled, no matter what it was. Not wanting me to cry for too long…. she remembers the song her mother would sing. She remembers the song  so clearly because even though she cannot see too well her memory is as sharp as ever. She briefly wonders if she was given an option to trade her mind for mobility if she would.

She then starts to smile in wonder as she pictures herself running about the yard, playing with the dogs and her favorite cat. Candy was the cat’s name, how can I remember these things she thinks to herself and yet… and yet I cannot reach down to hold a cat even if I wanted to. Her sadness returns, along with it an immense feeling of melancholy that comes on when she misses the days of being able to do things for herself. She always knew the phrase once a man twice a child but never knew she would be experiencing it in such a profound way. She always imagined being able to move around not going back to the “childlike” stage of having someone to fuss over her especially when she knew it was a burden. That’s how she felt…like she was a burden.

How do we handle taking care of the aged among us?

• We need to make sure that they never feel like they are a burden.
• Engage them in meaningful conversations.
• Be extraordinarily patient.
• Treat them with care but in a normal way.
• If they do not reside with us make sure that our visits to them are frequent.
• Treat them occasionally depending on how convenient the situation is.
• Ensure that if they are on medication that they stick to it.
• Most importantly put ourselves in their shoes.
• Show them unconditional love.  

No one wants to be in the situation where they are thinking once a man twice a child, it is a hard situation to deal with mentally after all for most of their years they would have been responsible for themselves. It’s very hard to go back to being like a child and at the mercy of people who may not treat them in a good way. See this article I think that is a fear the elderly among us may have.

We need to be compassionate and understanding; we need to be gentle and considerate. Think that at any minute anyone of us can become a “burden” it does not have to be old age; it could be a debilitating illness that affects us when we are young. It takes “big” love and a great person with an insurmountable amount of patience to deal with an aged parent or relative or just the situation once a man twice a child.  Let us then think that what it is doing is building our character and opening us up to receive the promises automatically obtained from expressing love and ensuring that what we put out there is going to come back to us.

A couple of thoughts from the bible on the elderly and how we should treat them:

Proverbs 23:22

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old

1 Timothy 5:8

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Deuteronomy 5:16

“‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

1 Timothy 5:4

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.