Cathy is a very accomplished executive with the leading accounting firm in the country. In her  world  fitting in is extremely important to her. It allows her to have more friends and also to  increase her social network , not caring whether she is  building genuine relationships or if she is surrounded by fake people . She ensures that her position of relevance is maintained and that she fits in by volunteering for every event that comes up at work or any of the clubs or organizations that she is a part of.  Cathy complains ever so often that she has no time for herself and no time to nurture herself.  She sometimes feels that she is not being true to herself and the people around her. She often feels empty even though she has her friends, she does well at work and is able to buy whatever she wants.  Not having time to really exhale and wear her hair down has taken a toll on her.

There are a lot of people similar to Cathy in the world today and hearing her story or a small part of it brings to mind the word “selfish”.  As harsh as this may sound (and it really isn’t when you hear the explanation)  it is selfish. When we place so much emphasis on the  need to fit in we are not only robbing ourselves of our true identity, we are also robbing others from experiencing who we really are.  Always being focused on busy, busy, busy, doesn’t it take away that responsibility of sharing with the ones who really mean the most to us?  Forget about Cathy and think about a mother who is in a similar situation, do you believe she will have time to smell the coffee in the morning with her husband or to spend quality time with her children… late night snuggles ending with a kiss on the forehead.

Unlike Cathy I refuse to fit in (well in truth maybe I use to be like Cathy somewhat) and I couldn’t even if I tried, not anymore.  If I were to step into the shoes of trying to fit in, it would never fit me. I would never be comfortable, after all, my feet have grown and my style is way different from that “one size fits all for who wants to wear it” type of shoes. My shoes are now made of a far superior material and the quality is one of a kind. My days of wearing the fit in kind of shoes are over.

There are persons in this world who can balance themselves, who choose to fit in and can also maintain wholesome relationships; however for the many of us who struggle with the decision, we have to make the choice to live our lives in a truly authentic manner, where we do not gloss over the reality and the need to put ourselves out there just the way God intended. I am not saying that we are not to be like Cathy with all her accomplishments but we need to accept that life goes beyond the accomplishments; if we wear ourselves down by trying to fit in how can that help us.  We need to eliminate the desire to fit in and choose to walk in the shoes labeled “refuse to fit in”. Then we will know that we are living unselfishly and experiencing a more complete and balanced life.